A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season.

[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.

I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.