I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.

When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.

I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.

Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

Our passions may be compared to certain slaves--the more severity we show them, the better they obey us.

I went to a hypnotist. He put me under a spell, and every time I had a craving for a cigarette, I would throw up. It's very embarrassing right after sex. I find it pretty hard to get that second date after that. Girls get all snobby after you barf on them.

Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they're good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I'm really interested. And, then, uh, there's one point, that all of a sudden I'm bored. You know? I just lose interest completely and I feel deeply ashamed.