RIP Amy Winehouse. We lost a true heroin addict today.

You ever hear guys with small cocks talk about sex? Can't talk about it enough. They even got poems. They'll say, 'It's not the motion of the ocean, it's the boat of the lotion.' I've even heard variants..., it's not the tree or the size, it's the axe that you wax.' It's a whole sub-genre of poetry now that's taught in many of our finer institutions.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

A man's enemies are those he should endeavor first to make his friends.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.