During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.

Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.

I don't have to meet actors. I'm really blessed that I don't have to do all that horseshit.

Love is an artful arrangement of artless pretensions, whereby we labor to appear innocent in what we desire to be most cunning.

None seem to bear the imputation of supposed guilt with greater intolerance than such as are, on other occasions, obviously culpable of vice or crime.

They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity; but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.

There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.