Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.

Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.