I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.

There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.

Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.

There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.

I love writing - it's the best. But I really hate collaboration.