Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.

It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.

Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at 'em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y'know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.

Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they're good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I'm really interested. And, then, uh, there's one point, that all of a sudden I'm bored. You know? I just lose interest completely and I feel deeply ashamed.