Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.

We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations.

A man's enemies are those he should endeavor first to make his friends.

Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh... one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn't know me now if you'd seen me when I was one, you know? I even looked good for my age. People would come up to me and go, what are you, zero? And I'd go, no, I'm one over here!

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.