A capacity for hating the object of desire is, perhaps, the best cure for love in cases of disappointment.

It is better to be idle than employed in ill.

The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.

The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.

Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.

I'm no good at anything but comedy, which I think I'm good at. I'm absolutely no good at networking; I'm terrible at acting; I'm terrible at dealing with executives; I'm terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I'm good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don't really have an ambition for money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.