There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.
Norm MacDonaldMy dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
Norm MacDonaldThe vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.
Norm MacDonald[Televised stand-up] never really makes me laugh. The only one I ever saw that I liked was Richard Pryor, and that was [shot on] film.
Norm MacDonald