The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.

I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.

Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious.

Few criminals die sensible of their crimes.

I don't have to meet actors. I'm really blessed that I don't have to do all that horseshit.

Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I've seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he's lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.