I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.

We advise others better than ourselves.

I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

A man's enemies are those he should endeavor first to make his friends.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.