I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.

The only two TV shows I saw do that, where they don't warm them up and you can really bomb, was Saturday Night Live - and that's why it gets a lot of heat, too. Obviously it gets criticism fairly, too. But a lot of it is because Lorne [Michaels] lets the audience decide and doesn't force them to laugh.

I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.

Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.