There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

I completely understand why a businessman would fire me from 'Saturday Night Live'. Because he was seeing Jay Leno kill 10 minutes a night, doing his monologue with wall-to-wall laughs and applause, then I do 10 minutes a week to, sometimes, breathtaking silence. He's just listening for the laughs.

I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations.

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That's what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn't have a stupid opinion about it.

It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.