There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

I don't have any ego about it, but I find there's not a great work ethic in show business. A lot of people are in it to make money, and coming from stand-up, you have to work so hard because almost nothing works, and if you lose the audience for three minutes, you're dead.

Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.

Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many you could do.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

I don't have any ambition.