I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

In love, we are best pleased when we please others.

It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

Ever see this? It's a homeless guy but he's got a dog... The dog's really thrilled with this idea. The dog's going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.

In giving advice, aptitude is often less to be considered, than seasonableness.

Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.