I never had any interest in sitcoms or motion pictures or anything like that.

I don't do much. I'm too lazy. That's my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, I get hit my a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn't effect my lifestyle a bit really.

I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

I just got back from New York. You ever been there? There was a big gay parade going on there when I was there, and I never been to one of them, and I like a parade. I always like a parade. So, I go there, and it turns out, it's just a bunch of gay guys.

This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.

Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.