I sort of have open invitations from a lot of people to do TV. But it's very hard for me to do roles in sitcoms and movies because I'm not a great actor, so if the material isn't good, I'm in torment while I do it.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

I just got back from New York. You ever been there? There was a big gay parade going on there when I was there, and I never been to one of them, and I like a parade. I always like a parade. So, I go there, and it turns out, it's just a bunch of gay guys.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.

We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.

I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.