I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves.

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise.

Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

After months of speculation, the sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres admitted that yes, she's gay. Inspired by her courage, today, diet-guru Richard Simmons admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.