Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.

I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.' I don't own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I'd have to buy something to protect it then.

It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.

Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.

I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].