He that searches for praise will often find contempt.

They're like ''You're an alcoholic.'' I go ''No, I'm not.'' and then-apparently that's what alcoholics say too, you know?

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.

Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.

There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, "Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up." And then I'm like, "There's more work in the States."