I'm happy doing stand-up, but I'll probably do a television show eventually. If not, I'll delve into this Internet world and decide best how to harness it. What I like best about it is the independent movie style and the ability to just be completely reckless within that world. I like that a lot. I just have to acquaint myself with technology.

My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!

We would seldom be deceived by flattery, did our own conceit not promote the delusion.

It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.

There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.

If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.

Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.