They that are virtuous from principle may receive confidence in every capacity; but they that are so from custom or habit, are capable of trust only in matters of ordinary and settled occurrence.

I have always loved Las Vegas. It's a traditional place for lounge comics to perform, and I love that.

I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.

Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.