History is bright and fiction dull with homely men who have charmed women.

Humans were denied the speech of animals. The only common ground of communication upon which dogs and men can get together is in fiction.

You can't appreciate home till you've left it, money till it's spent, your wife till she's joined a woman's club, nor Old Glory till you see it hanging on a broomstick on the shanty of a consul in a foreign town.

Perhaps there is no happiness in life so perfect as the martyr's.

East is East, and West is San Francisco, according to Californians. Californians are a race of people; they are not merely inhabitants of a State.

Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence.

Hospitality in the prairie country is not limited. Even if your enemy passes your way, you must feed him before you shoot him.