Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.

Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration camp for the duration. How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don't have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves.