A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.