I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.