Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more

But all ladies think they weigh too much.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.