Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.