A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.

How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.

In the world of mules there are no rules.