A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.

The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.

In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead.