Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.

A bit of talcum Is always walcum.