Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.

A bit of talcum Is always walcum.

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.