People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.

Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.