People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.