An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl?

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.