An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

No man is greater than his respect for sleep.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else.

You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.