Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.'

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.

Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?

Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

A cough is something that you yourself cant help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you.