Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.