One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.