And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Too much Chablis can make you whablis.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker.

A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.