Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

The old men know when an old man dies.

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.