The reason for much matrimony is patrimony.

Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.