I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else.

I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch.

When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.