The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?

A lady is known by the product she endorses.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.

I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl?