No man is greater than his respect for sleep.

The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.

The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.