Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.

All that glitters is sold as gold.

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.