The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

A cough is something that you yourself cant help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you.

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.