Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer.

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.