Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.

Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.

Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.

One thing about the past. It's likely to last.