Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else.

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more.