A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.