Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.

Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers.

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

No man is greater than his respect for sleep.