Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.

O thrice unhappy home Whose master doesn't know the difference between a watt and an ohm!

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.