Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

In the world of mules there are no rules.

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

All that glitters is sold as gold.