The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways.

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.

I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.