Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.