Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up.