Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.

Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.

The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers.

Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor.