Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure, Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.